This Naked Mind is a seminal book on reframing our relationship with alcohol. Having read, enjoyed and successfully implemented the principles from the book, I wondered if there are ways in which we can apply these guiding principles to other aspects of our lives that we wish to change.
It was at the end of 2021 that I finally realised that I was unhappy with my long-term relationship with alcohol. I had undertaken a dry January challenge in 2021 and found it incredibly difficult to stay strong throughout the month (we were in a lockdown as well!).
From that point, I started to question what control alcohol had over me, and what control I could exert on it? From that challenging January experiment, I realised that to simply battle through the cravings with raw will power was not effective- there had to be a better and more efficient way to moderate.
It took the majority of the year until I stumbled upon This Naked Mind- an Amazon kindle give-a-way in December- inevitably posted to attract the New Year resolution crowd- myself included. I devoured the book in quick time, with its clear and simple messages resonating with just how I was feeling after another year of dissatisfaction with alcohol. Roll on another dry January in 2022 and how different could this experience have been from 2021? After the first couple of days I had no cravings, I enjoyed the month and all the health benefits that came with it.
For reference, I am currently not fully alcohol free, but I am happy with my newfound relationship with alcohol. I drink when I want to drink, and not because I feel compelled to drink. I drink in absolute moderation, because I enjoy the moderation and not in anyway to test my resolve or prove something to myself.
I then started to think, how could we apply the Naked Mind principles that work so well with alcohol dependancy into other aspects of our lives that we want to regulate? Our ongoing battles with the need for regular exercise, eating healthy, quality sleep or social media regulation- could these benefit from a Naked Mind approach?
In this blog, I intend to examine the Naked Mind principles and give a personal insight as to how they work with our relationship with alcohol, but I then hope to draw out some of the key messages and see how they can be applied to other factors in our lives that may not be the best for us.
This naked mind principles relating to alcohol.
How and why it works- We all have unconscious and conscious thoughts. Unconscious thinking looks after our innermost desires. Unconscious conditioning tells us we like drinking and that it somehow enhances our lives, it is exiting and it relieves stress- in reality our subconscious been sold a lie by advertising and the big brewing industry. We can all consciously accept that alcohol is not good for us, yet we retain the desire to drink in our subconscious. The Naked mind targets the unconscious mind by educating and empowering the conscious mind. The book critically challenges the false beliefs that have been developed in us about alcohol, and examines where those beliefs are rooted. Trying to quit through shear will power creates an internal conflict- you consciously want to quit, but you still subconsciously desire a drink and feel deprived when you resist.
The drinker or the drink? What actually has caused the current alcohol epidemic? Society likes to blame the drinker for their inability to moderate. When we can no longer control- we blame ourselves, as well as our family, society and friends also blaming us for our apparent inability to moderate. The blame game is the main crux of the AA rehabilitation programme- stating that alcoholics are somehow different to non alcoholics. The Naked Mind clarifies that there is no such thing as an addiction gene. The physical flaw theory of an alcoholic being somehow physiologically different to the norm of society is seriously limited. If we convince ourselves that alcohol has a direct physical hold over us, it makes it much easier to accept our reliance on alcohol because I am not to blame- it is a genetic disorder that I can do nothing about.
Drink is the nectar of death. It is addictive- if you need an illustration of this ask yourself the question- how many people ever drink less over time? Our tolerance to alcohol builds over time- making it addictive to get to the same point. The belief that the alcoholic living on the streets is somehow different to us is a flawed argument. If the descent starts at an early age, it develops quicker. We need to be really careful about how we introduce alcohol to young people, and how we talk about it around them. The boiling frog analogy- when is enough enough- when did we lose control?
You- simply naked. We have an extraordinary mind- with so much naked mental processing power and capacity to overcome the alcohol problem. We need to realise that we are amazing machines with the intelligence and systems to self heal.
Media and advertising misinformation. From international research, in terms of real life danger, alcohol has a risk score of 72. In similar research, heroin has a score of 55 and crack cocaine at 54. The WHO attributes alcohol as the main causation factor in 60 diseases. Alcohol is the biggest risk factor for death in 15-59 year olds. Alcohol is responsible for twice as many deaths in US than all other drugs combined. Alcohol poses dangers to our body, brain, heart, liver and immune system as well as being a risk factor in many major cancers.
A quest for sobriety- when quitting is hard- it reinforces the belief that alcohol holds a power over us. Quitting can be like losing a best friend if we try to use only will power and limiting ourselves. Quitting will be horrible if you believe life will be empty without alcohol. If you control the urge to drink via pure will power, your health improves, you feel better, but the unconscious desire to drink remains and you will let alcohol back in as you feel under control again (or not!)
Defining addiction. Addiction is very simply- a craving, followed by a desire, followed by a response. As we become more dependant upon any substance for the perceived benefit that it brings, we develop a natural tolerance to that feel-good response. We then subsequently struggle to regain the same feel-good point over a period of time time. Put simply, we need to consume more of the substance, or consume it more frequently to maintain the same level of happiness that we had from our early exposures. We become dopamine dependent- this a natural aspect of evolutionary brain science that we have inherited from our ancestors. As hunter gatherers, we would feel good about finding a crop of berries. Our brains released dopamine that would make us feel-good and make us more likely to return to the berry bushes in the future.
Why some descend faster than others- no one is immune to addiction- end of. We all love dopamine, it is evolution. Anything that causes a dopamine spike can be addictive.
The secret to easily drinking less- we need to build an awareness and acceptance of the effects of drinking. We must be acutely aware of the potential for emotional and physical dependancy on alcohol due to our innate love of dopamine. We must accept the truth about alcohol.
The journey- accepting that relapse is not failure, just a detour on the journey is so important in reavaluating our relationship with alcohol. All too often, particularly with New Year resolutions, we see people having a set back and then giving up on their resolution all together. All is not lost at the point of relapse, it is just a point on the journey that we can learn from.
Pay it forward- how can I make the world a better place by helping others come to understand the power of our Naked Mind?
Liminal points- unpicking our unconscious beliefs around alcohol
Is drinking really a habit? If it is, can we re-establish control over that habit?
Are we really drinking for the joy of the taste? Alcohol is definitely an acquired taste- for most of us, our first drink was shit. Alcohol is a poison- ethanol, that is flavoured in intricate ways by the drinks industry to attract us to it. Alcohol doesn’t quench a thirst, it makes us thirstier.
Is alcohol liquid courage? Fear in life is good- it causes us show caution to danger. If we allow alcohol to remove fear from our lives, we remove the safety net- which is not a good thing. We need to be clear that bravery is not losing the instinct of self preservation.
Drinking helps me loosen up and have a better sex life. Alcohol doesn’t permit one to do things better but instead causes us to be less ashamed of doing things poorly- W Osler. Are there other aspects of our life that we would use this baseless argument? Would we really have a drink to loosen us up to drive a car at speed better?
I drink to relieve stress and anxiety- do we really, or have we been sold this subliminal lie by the drinks industry? Brain science dispels this myth, with alcohol being a significant contributor to anxiety related illness.
I enjoy drinking it makes me happy- does it really? Look carefully and examine and understand the brain science of enjoyment.
Is alcohol vital for a social life- We need to critically evaluate societal pressure to drink alcohol as the norm- most life events are naturally linked to alcohol- but why? Weddings, celebrations and funerals all have a alcoholic component- but why do we have to follow that tradition?
It’s cultural, I need to drink to fit in- we live in an alcohol centric society. Those that push back so much against stopping have the most to fear. We all have that friend that maintains that they are in control of their drinking yet clearly are not- if you haven’t got a friend like that- are you that person? The drinks industry want us to believe that cool people drink, once they have reached a critical mass of belief in this myth, their marketing job is done. Pressure from friends may come in many forms, but true friends will consider your wishes, your aspirations and your goals when they interact with you.
Applications to other desirable changes
Will power is not enough- we need to tackle the underlying misconceptions in our subconscious mind. Knowledge itself is power so hit the books.
Let’s make sure that we are aware of cultural bias in what we read, and be particularly discerning of any web based information we consume. There is a lot of false news out there designed to influence us in relation to all aspects of life. I do not wish to be a doomsday prophet, but keep a critical eye on the information you consume and always ask the question, is this information valid and without bias?
There is no wonder drug to melt fat, we cannot eat what we want and hope to lose weight, we cannot get fitter without hard work and exertion...its simple, common sense science.
Understanding the liminal points about our desired change- to understand is to be empowered. To educate our subconscious minds takes time and accurate information.
For example with healthy eating… What influence does big business and marketing have on our shopping and eating habits? How are our supermarkets are designed to get us to consume simple carbohydrates and processed food. As soon as we develop an awareness of this, we can consciously guard against its influence upon us. Start by looking at the liminal points for alcohol above and try to make a similar list for your new challenge.
We can all enable change- we have infinite naked power in our minds to bring about change- we are intelligent beings. Genetics play little or no part in our ability to self regulate- no one has a significant advantage or disadvantage over anyone else in this regard.
Our brains love starts and finishes to tasks, but naturally lacks motivation in the middle. Let’s look to maximise the these starts and finishes by setting lots of short term, mini goals that we can achieve regularly and wallow in the subsequent feel good factors of success.
A daily target of eating a healthy, wholesome breakfast before leaving the house is much more attainable than a long term, and rather vague target of trying to eating healthy.
Better than setting a long term target of reducing social media in your life, have a daily target of no phones at meal times- commit to talking to each other instead!
We need to consider our acceptance of our exposure to unhealthy things. Beware the boiling frog effect- back in the day a rather cruel experiment exposed a frog to a vat of hot water- of which the frog obviously jumped straight out as it was deeply unpleasant. In a subtle change, scientists put a frog in water and slowly turned up the heat over time. The frog was unable to register the ever rising temperature and remained in the water until it was too late to react.
Have we become too accustomed to the ever rising temperature of our unhealthy environment? Are we blissfully unaware of the unhealth influence of social media on us? Do we need to wake up and become more aware of these factors that are influencing our decision making?
If we came to any problem with a fresh set of eyes, how would we advise a friend what to do?
Get the environment right- It doesn't take Einstein to work out that it’s hard to eat healthily when you are surrounded by shit food. Remove the temptation by having a clear out of the kitchen of all processed food.
If social media is ruining your relationships- remove the apps from your phone so you can only access them from your PC at a set time that you are in control of.
Finding it hard to sleep at night and switch off- put your phone on charge overnight outside the bedroom.
Want to read more- carry a kindle with you like you carry your phone.
Think about the positivity of the future rather than focusing on the loss of a habit. Having positive goals rather than restrictive goals makes the change of habit so much more manageable.
Giving up sweets (or anything) simply makes you crave sweets (or anything) more. What do you want to do instead of eating sweets? Drink some water (this really does work- try it), have some healthy alternatives close to hand or limit your exposure so sweets are still part of your life but you are in control. You cannot believe how tasty 5 Peanut M&M's a day can be as a treat!
Understand our dependancy on dopamine and the dopamine cycle. We are slaves to this system...it is part of our evolution and one of the main reasons we are stood here today on this planet. There is no avoiding it, but we need to be aware of the dangers of dopamine dependancy. As we have discussed earlier, to maintain the intensity of a dopamine initial hit over time, we need to either increase the dose of the stimulus or the frequency of the stimulus.
When it comes to things that we want to give up, this makes things rather challenging as our love of dopamine is constantly working against us. Our battle with our dopamine dependancy will go on indefinitely- the purpose is to keep playing the game and not giving up, all the time being aware of our submissive relationship with our dopamine levels.
Quitting anything is a journey- not a final destination. We need to accept that things will go wrong, and that is fine as we are on our journey of incremental improvements. What is important is when things don't go to plan, we don't scrap the plan. It was a valid plan to start with, and it remains a valid plan now.
If we fall off our healthy eating plan and have a binge at McDonalds, that is fine, accept that you enjoyed the moment of the dirty burger, let it go, and climb back on the healthy eating horse from this point on.
If we fall down the YouTube rabbit hole for an hour, that is ok as it was enjoyable at the time, let it go and then rebuild the daily habits you had been building up to that point.
For years I have loved the following Japanese proverb as it is so simple to recall and reassuring in challenging times:
Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Mindset- Put simply, we need to reframe our thinking on quitting and no longer see it as:
I never get to do…
but actually...
I choose never to have to do…
I hope that these words in some way have helped to spark a curiosity in the way in which you think about potential improvements in your life. They are not meant in anyway to be judgemental or condescending, they are just a reflection of the simple thoughts of one person that may be of use to you.
All the best,
Richard
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