This week we look at the realities of everyday life, not the sanitised instagramable version of life, but the much more gritty aspects of what life throws at us. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns, as even unicorns suffer from diarrhoea occasionally! Life will keep on coming and we just need to keep on dealing with it.
Life is Hell
As Jordan Peterson puts it- life is hell. The sooner that we accept this and deal with it, the better. Life can be pretty shit at times, but we ultimately have no control over that. Life will just keep on coming. What we can do is reframe our thinking on the harsh reality of life.
If life was like the board game of snakes and ladders, it would be pretty boring if there were only ladders on the board. The excitement of the game comes from the potential adversity of landing on a snake and the associated knock back on the board. A game of ladders and ladders would not offer the same appeal. Recovery from the knock back is where the excitement lies.
Of course there are degrees of shitness in everyday life and not all shit is equal (how philosophical). For us this week, there have been various setbacks to a greater or lesser degree, but the excitement that it brings makes life real and exciting.
Nelson, our beloved Campervan failed his MOT at the start of the week, needing new brake pads. Not too much of a disaster, but nothing we could do or control about it, we just needed to suck it up and pay the bill. He is booked in on Monday and all will be sorted.
Jackie has been an absolute Trojan this week with the endless flow of paperwork that has headed our way associated with our house sale and my brothers estate. Not something that she likes, but something that cannot be avoided and needs to be done if we want to move forwards.
Some of our friends and colleagues have had to deal with death in their lives this week and it is truly heart breaking for them. We have tried to support them through these difficult times, but it is tough. Death is an absolute certainty in life, but nothing truly prepares us for it. It is hard, but we can get through loss together, by just being there for one another.
On Friday we spotted a house we liked that had come back on the market in Sedbergh. We were so exited…unlike the vendors who could only offer a 4.45pm viewing on the following Tuesday knowing that we had a 4 hour round trip to make this appointment. We visited Sedbergh at the weekend and decided that the house wasn’t actually worth that effort, as in reality despite the photos, it was not right for us. Lesson learned- house buying is going to be an emotional rollercoaster and we need to visit houses before we get too excited… All of this common sense went out of the window when we visited a run down, doer-upper on Saturday morning. The seller who lived next door offered to show us around without an appointment, and within the hour, we had done the maths and made an asking price offer on the house. This is so Jackie and Richard, but the decision, house and location just felt right. Time will tell if we are successful, but it certainly brings another layer of excitement to our lives!
Life is hell, and so are (most) estate agents- with the obvious exception of our good friends who are lovely estate agents!!! They generally love you as a seller and have utter contempt for you as a buyer. My view is that they have generally grown fat and lazy from the current sellers market, and need the harsh reality of an interest rate hike to bring them down to earth. In my humble view, most of them are only one step above 1980’s car salesmen or Tory politicians in terms of credibility and likability, which is pretty low.
The importance of passion.
Passion is something that I think is massively underrated in life, and something that has a huge impact on our mental health and wellbeing. If we cannot show our love for things in our lives, we are digging our selves into a deep hole. It does not have to be anything in particular- stamp collecting, train spotting or anything- just be passionate about it.
A prime illustration of this was when we were recruiting at school earlier this week. One of our initial questions to candidates is always what are you passionate about? We don't care about the answer, we just wanted to hear an answer. All candidates coped with this question really well, but the final selection did come down to this trait and this alone. We obviously gave it to the candidate who had the greater passion, and who was willing to show how they were feeling about the job.
Never be afraid to show your passion!
A week at work.
It’s been a strange week at school this week. For one, Jackie has started work invigilating GCSE exams at my school. Not only is it odd seeing her in contexts where I wouldn’t normally see her, but the year 11 kids are loving seeing who I am married to and realising that I am a normal human being.
The exam season is in full flow and time is flying in my last few weeks of work. It is odd to think that this will be my last ever exam season. Preparing the kids for exams takes time, patience and bucket loads of sweets! Not that they need motivating, but asking them to complete 2 hours of prep prior to exams does require a sugar hit part way through the afternoon. Is there any problem that cannot be solved by Haribo?
One of my favourite classes, 11x5 maths, surprised me with an amazingly thoughtful gift to recognise my forthcoming retirement. They nearly made me cry, as they were with me throughout the time when we lost Dad and they were so kind then. The memory of their kindness will stay with me forever. This is what a true legacy is, making people into better versions of themselves, and justified to me why I have worked so hard for so many years in education.
Budgeting successes.
We are not sure why, but Jackie has had a little weekly budget pilot success this week. We had a good rummage through the freezer, store cupboards and made a meal plan on what we found. Our total weekly food shop came in at £36 which was an all time low for us. We ate well, maintained a healthy diet and cleared some storage space in the kitchen at the same time. We are not planning this as a regular weekly event, but it did strike home to us how much capacity we have in all of our lives to minimise a bit more and at the same time save money for things that are really important in life.
A random thought.
We must be getting old as we are starting to coordinate our ailments, with us both having unexplained back ache this week. Why is this? Are we really getting that old already? My Dad had a saying that when you wake up in a morning you need to be grateful that you have woken up in the first place (!) and then you need to be grateful for the things that don’t ache rather than focusing on the things that do. He was so wise and I miss him every day.
So another week gone and some significant moves forwards towards our early retirement goals. It’s going to be a big week of decisions and outcomes next week. Fingers crossed it all goes well.
Have a great week,
Jackie and Richard
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